PX600 Silver Shade.
There are sometimes when I want to tell you how I feel about somebody but it is hard, not just hard because I’ve only got 26 letters and they only go together so many ways, but hard because words don’t always show the way you felt when people you care about got married, about how they said their vows in that little old church at the Ag Museum, and the Preacher’s Kids sang “Tonight I Want to Be Alone” and all the kegs got floated, and then somehow we grew up, maybe we were already grown but it didn’t feel like it but once there are Birds and Emilys and Jaspers and Windsors suddenly we are a lot older, and nobody’s throwing up in front of Martin’s anymore, except on special occasions, and we’re sitting on the porch on Poplar and her phone rings and it pops up “Dollface” and you go “who is that” and she says “Joshua,” with a little smile kicking around the side of her mouth, and when I tell you that once they left a little note on my car that said David is dum and also a lewser <3 thee electrix know that I still have it hanging up on my refrigerator where it can make me laugh every morning and so when it’s been four years since that day in the little old church at the Ag Museum, how has it only been four years, you want to do something nice and so you pull some film out of the refrigerator (while you laugh at the sign of course) and you hop in the car and sing “Everybody Needs Love” a few times and you go over to the little old church and you stand there in the rain, and say, Lord give me something good here, this is something that I want to be special for people I care about, and the rain keeps coming down and there’s terrible light and clouds everywhere and because you are always daydreaming anyway you wonder what you’re going to write on the Polaroid, it’s not enough just with the pictures, you still have those 26 letters and they mean something if you put them together right, and sometimes you feel like you can really put them together right, and you begin to think of the Beatles because they love the Beatles, of course, because they are the type of people you love and you love the Beatles, too, and you remember being 24 and that whole summer you listened to Rubber Soul, you were 24 and you believed in God and believed in love, O you believed in love so hard you could cry just thinking about it, and you wore that little gas station cassette out, rewinding back and forth to hear “In My Life” in the Camino, even just with one speaker you could still hear John sounding so perfectly content, so perfectly weary and assured, and then of course
then the light shot through the clouds and ricocheted off the church window and I said, well, there you go, happy anniversary Joshua & Lindsey, I love you both very much.
Oh, David. I really love you a whole lot.