Archive for October, 2010

FOR THE MOON YOU KEEP SHOOTIN’

faked by Sunday, October 31st, 2010

You and I fall together—you and I sleep alone.

I’m putting together the latest Sandusky Review this week—”Little Mascara”—I know, it’s named after a Replacements song, how long am I going to plumb the eternal cassette depths of my college years for meaning and love, ain’t you got no new tricks in that bag, grandpa? O WE’RE GONNA DO THIS UNTIL WE’RE OUTTA JUICE, FOLX.

Anyway it’s been a great weekend with great friends and football and tofu sammiches and too much Diet Coke and maybe some 4-wheeler riding. And I’m trying to con Prof. & the Contessa into letting me crash at their place in a couple weekends which is going to be fun + legendary and smell like Fleur de Lis and we’re gonna watch a lot of football and maybe have a bonfire? I don’t know, it is literally on the bayou, things get crazy sometimes. It’s a good thing.

Everybody’s broke but we’re sweet and the weather is pretty and we have some great records and apple-cheeked babies and “How I Left the Ministry” and let’s be thankful for that. I’m already planning other artifacts and taking some new Polaroids with Silver Shade and okay yeah I drank too much Diet Coke and I’m really hyper right now but have a good night and see you l8rs, g8rz. xoxoxox

Infantile Gestures and Indescribable Highs

faked by Friday, October 22nd, 2010

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OH! BEES

faked by Wednesday, October 20th, 2010

When I was fat I used to sweat a lot.
I’m not kidding.
I I I mean inappropriately, like
getting out of breath trying
to get out of the car, or having
to wipe yr forehead right after you
start rattling the vegetables around
the wok for stirfry. I
totally had a doublechin, you
can see it on Facebook, even though
in the same pictures I
always have my arm around pretty girls.
So maybe Southern girls
don’t mind fat boys. It’s
totally fucked up. I mean, I don’t think
I eat less now but I don’t
drink a sixer of Miller Lite every day
anymore, that shitty middle class
aperitif, oh let’s stop kidding, we’re totally
poor now, so I changed to Coke Zero, I
tried Diet Coke but it tastes like cancer,
& you can’t listen to Metallica &
drink fucking Diet Coke.

“LOVE’S THEME” BY THE LOVE UNLIMITED ORCHESTRA

faked by Wednesday, October 20th, 2010

When I was four years old
I spent half a week
in a plastic tent,
struggling to breathe, water
dripping on my face.

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THEY CALLED HIM THE SAXOPHONE COLOSSUS

faked by Wednesday, October 20th, 2010

FROM THE DIARY OF THE FMR. GUITARIST OF BLACK DIAMOND:

I am sitting in a bar somewhere in Chicago in what they call the Loop in what is probably a touristy kind of place, which should be okay because I am kind of a tourist, and they are playing Blue Train real loud over the speakers, which I do not really mind even though I am a rock and roll type person, and I am trying really hard not to order a drink or think about ordering a drink or how good a drink would taste except I am in a bar and that is the whole purpose of a bar in the first Goddamned place.

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600 Pieces of Paper

faked by Wednesday, October 20th, 2010

This is a bag of Sandusky Reviews. More precisely, this is the pasted up masters and a stack of cardstock they’re gonna live on. After I make these artifacts I go through a pretty intense period of ambivalence—normally pride tinged with regret and embarrassment.

Things I like about this one: the AK-47 cover (each hand printed). The line I stole from my friend Lucas that opens the book and that I tried to make a little less bittersweet than it was when he wrote it. The drawing & lettering on the Gibson Explorer page.

The bad: the botched job I did on the Frankenstrat illustration. The Springsteen story. How uncomfortably personal some of it is.

Making art does not always feel good. But I am a rock and roll type person and that is just what we do.

KALASH, GLITTER

faked by Friday, October 15th, 2010

Linoprint, 2010. From Wikipedia:

The AK-47 is a selective-fire, gas-operated 7.62×39mm assault rifle, first developed in the Soviet Union by Mikhail Kalashnikov. The designation AK-47 stands for Kalashnikov Automatic Rifle, 1947 Model (Russian: Автомат Калашникова 47, tr. Avtomat Kalashnikova 47). It is officially known as Avtomat Kalashnikova (or simply ‘AK’). Also it is known as Kalashnikov or Russian jargon Kalash.

ONE THOUSAND SILVER BULLETS HUNG ROUND THE NECKS OF A HUNDRED HEAVY METAL GIRLS

faked by Tuesday, October 12th, 2010

Click to embiggen, as always.

Components of the back cover for the sixth artifact of the Sandusky Review. Speedball Speedy Carve block, silver paint with a little spit.

PEACE SELLS, AND I WAS BUYIN’

faked by Thursday, October 7th, 2010

FROM THE DIARY OF THE FMR. GUITARIST OF BLACK DIAMOND:

Once Metallica betrayed me I just went to the Camelot and started trying to look up other bands that I might like instead of them, since vowing not to listen to them anymore had opened up a real big hole in my life. For a while I tried Megadeth, on account of Dave Mustaine having been in Metallica, and it did not hurt that he was real good looking in a cruel sort of way, like a guy who was on a baseball team or something. The real problem with Megadeth was that they were kind of shitty and Mustaine had this weird high whiny voice, even though you could actually hear the bass on their records, which I tend to prefer.

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ALSO 5150 IS A GOOD RECORD

faked by Tuesday, October 5th, 2010

FROM THE DIARY OF THE FMR. GUITARIST OF BLACK DIAMOND:

There was always a rumor that Van Halen was a bunch of stuck-up prisses because their rider was supposed to say that they wanted a bowl of M&Ms backstage but with all the brown ones removed. Well I can tell you for a fact that I have seen the rider because I once played in a club in New York where the manager had been a stage crew for them, and he had a true life copy of it, and it sure did say that. It also had about six whole pages that was about the amperage they needed to run the Marshall stacks Eddie used and what kind of racks they needed for Michael Anthony’s bass amplifiers and so forth.

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