faked by Tuesday, January 27th, 2009


(a memoir of the downfall)

‘Twas Bush league, and the slimy toads
Did lie and gamble with our fate;
All flimsy were the moral codes
That should have kept them straight.

“Beware the Ubergeek, you con,
The tongue that speaks, the mind that thinks;
Avoid the democrats, and shun
Decent people as dinks.”

But look: A supple mind commands
The field, and bullies must obey:
They robbed us blind, but now their kind
Has had its brightest day.

Like crawfish in the bottom mud,
They stirred up clouds of murk and muck;
They hadn’t tortured, pillaged. They were good.
And what kind of a name is Barak?

They never thought the time would come
When brains and courage came on strong
And decency beat villainy:
To them we call, So long.

“And hast thou lost to ubergeeks?
Go to your cells, you thieves and crooks.
O blessed day, let habeus stay!
A Potus who reads books!”

‘Twas Bush league, and the slimy toads
Did lie and gamble with our fate;
All flimsy were the moral codes
That should have kept them straight.

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6 Responses to “UBERGEEKY”

  1. Ha! This is lovely. Ubergeeks forever, I say.

  2. brd says:

    Beware indeed the mind that thinks. This is really brillig!

  3. Jack Butler says:

    Thank you both, you make me feel good. I posted this before I vetted it completely, so should note that “Barack” is spelled with a “c.” And that I will probably tinker with the piece a bit more. In particular, it seems to me, there should be a mention of thrown shoes.

    My favorite parts are the echoes of “uffish” and “stood” in “crawfish” and “mud.” Rather proud of that, though the “crawfish” appears a foot sooner than it does in Dodgson’s masterpiece.

    Surprising how few are aware of “Jabberwocky.” Does no one read about Alice any more? What a loss, if so!

  4. gorjus says:

    The student lit journal at Mississippi State is named the Jabberwock, which always struck me as hilarious.

    I read “Barak” as being composed purposely wrong, and like it that way! How many hundreds of times did you see it transcribed by some ranting conservative in that fashion? It got to the point I thought it was a conscious decision to denigrate the now-President. It’s no better or worse than Woodrow, that’s for sure.

    I demand more wonderful poems!

  5. Jack Butler says:

    Dear Gorjus—I thank you. Unfortunately I don’t have many successful pastiches—the only one I can think of offhand is my John Donne take-off, written in grad school forty years ago, which begins, “For Pete’s sake shut your mouth and let me fuck.” However, no copies are extant.

    So to do more poems, I’d have to use some of my originals. How about the poem that scandalized Mississippi and caused governor William Winter to write a pompous angry letter to the early Oxford American, “Ode on the Commode”?

    It uses some of the more familiar slang words for excrement, and seems to have shocked a lot of people, but I have always been puzzled that they were shocked, since the poem seems to me to be both funny and completely accurate. I had no intention of shocking people (I think that is a showy attention-getting way to behave). We were invited by Marc Smirnoff to submit poems on the subject, and as I remember, one of the poems was by John Updike.

    But if the slang and subject are too offensive, I will desist. Don’t see how they could be, in an age when children’s books point out that we all do it, but nevertheless, am not into offending people.

    If you can get a copy of that issue, though, hang on to it. Collector’s item, I would think. Maybe Choctaw has it. Get the next one, with Winter’s letter, too, if you want a good laugh.

  6. Now I have a new goal for my searches on eBay! (And I’m still hunting for a particular issue of Cavalier magazine . . . )