The Province of West Florida.

faked by Thursday, February 7th, 2008


Dave Ashes takes a break with a healthful breakfast concoction at the 2008 Spanish Town parade in Baton Rouge.


Our wonderful host house was decked out perfectly for Spanish Town. You can’t see the skeletons and flamingos in this one, but they’re there. Our gracious host has a better version of this one. We got the Polaroid 420 warmed up good after a few test shots, but the ample food and drinks helped considerably.


Although I think I took this one, I have to admit that I can’t remember. The best thing about having a bucket full of Screwmosas and a Polaroid is that everybody can make something special. That’s part of why Spanish Town is so great.


It got pretty rowdy at the end. This is right around when Prof.—gazing at the one set of truly awesome beads I caught, one made up of tiny plastic footballs and a Bud Light badge—looked me in the eyes and then ripped it off my head, scattering footballs all over the porch. I’m not sure, but I think he might have been drinking.

Or, maybe he got placed under the Chik’n’Foot-Hex!!

I love Spanish Town so, so much. I overdo it every year and always have that tinge of regret—but that’s what Ash Wednesday is for, no? And seeing the Prof. and Contessa and Conversely and Dave Ashes and the rest of the crowd—it’s just about my favorite thing all year.

Previous Spanish Town hijinx:
“Southerners, Who Feel Everything, Intensely.”
Why Louisianians Might Pity You Just a Little.
I Don’t Care What It Says in Romans . . .” (and the My Morning Jacket guy was back this year! But with a sidekick, holding a sign! Kind of like an evangelical Jerome!)

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13 Responses to “The Province of West Florida.”

  1. jacob says:

    nice work out there gorjus—glad I could witness the moment when the prof ripped your balls off—er footballs off. It was highlight reel material. I hear he played both ways on his High School team, which is where he must have learned that move.

  2. This is what I get for telling people about this website.

    These turned out swell! It was indeed a Spanish Town to remember this year. If only we could remember it more clearly.

    And I did try to replace the destroyed beads with my identical strand, but gorjus was having none of it. I might have secretly been doing it so that I could rip them off again, though. I think we’ll all agree that could have been hilarious.

  3. Dr Wagner says:

    Happy Birthday, Gorjus! And have you talked to your sister? If not…you might wanna give her a call.

  4. d-ashes says:

    Yeah….So in the interest of full disclosure, I seem to have lost about 30-45 minutes between the parade ending and finding myself draped over that pick-up truck in the driveway of our hostess. I have no recollection of the football bead’s destruction, though I can see my elbow in the picture that immediately precedes it. I mourn the loss of those football beads, though I’ll be happy to share my fornicating pigs with you next year. Just keep them away from those ‘Fury-filled Hands’ of the Professa.

  5. Well, I believe the bead-smashing actually happened at Chez Dupree over on 7th Street, though Gorjus has used some novelistic license here and compressed the timeline a bit. Just call him James Frey. Also possible: he doesn’t remember clearly.

  6. Lewis Perdue says:

    Sort of off the topic, but on it:

    A Heartfelt, YouTube-Based Wake for Polaroid Instant Photography

    What happens when you can’t get film anymore?

    This is serious!

  7. gorjus says:


  8. I’m going to encourage you all to go read Conversely’s report on the Spanish Town extravaganza, including a comment on the materiality of language and the nature of persimmons, here.

  9. lewis perdue says:

    Prof Fury:

    I am not at all sure about the materiality of language.

    Consciousness gives birth to language.

    But the words we create—either verbally or by writing—stand as crude and usually inaccurate symbols of the words themselves.

    Given the physical nature of written and spoken words, these symbols do have materiality. However, the materiality of the actual language behind them resolves to a metaphysical discussion of the origins of consciousness and the dualism of spirit and stuff.

    Or not.

    I think I will go have another glass of Syrah and see of any of that makes sense.

    I am still worried about the world supply of Polaroid film.

  10. I think you’re right to be concerned, Lewis. I think the only thing for us to do is what humans have done throughout the ages when faced with impending scarcity: hoard. Hoard, and then send your hoard to Gorjus. The last part is not something that humans have done throughout the ages, as far as I know, unless you take the mystical line that there has always been in every place and time a “Gorjus” who makes art from the rag-ends and bob-tails of dying media.

  11. lewis perdue says:

    Ah … but the art becomes more and more intere3sting … and valuable? as the supply dwindles and vanishes.


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