So Jaxxie is [xx] today. I ran out of haiku talking about how wonderful she was, so I just decided to sift through all the PrettyFakery that has been devoted to her over the years.
I am trying to think of some true stories I haven’t told you about her, as opposed to how she once changed the course of a mighty river with her bare hands (that’s only partly true). There’s a million, but the thing I can say best about her is that she totally listens to me whine when I’m drunk and lonely.
She’ll pat me on the hand, and say, “oh, Boo-Boo. That’s terrible. [Girl Who Has Somehow Wronged You] is clearly a moron, or perhaps even an imbecile.” Then she’ll tilt her head back, blow smoke towards the ceiling, and tell me about the newest hijinx between Pumpkin and New York, and make me laugh and forget about all the stuff that doesn’t really matter.
She’s fantastic, she’s one of my best friends in the entire world, and it’s her birthday. Pour one out for Jaxxie Glam!! (although, ideally, into one’s mouth).
Probably one of my favorite stories about her is when she bicycle-stalked Trent Reznor.
She bought me a stack of silly presents for my birthday two years ago.
We made a great, blurry flier and talked about Martin’s, and later swapped the flier up a bit.
She may like Dungeons and Dragons. Maybe.
She unveiled my secret weakness, Dave Chappelle-stijl.
She wrote a great review of seeing a pre-famous Arcade Fire.
I got served a wee bit at her B-B-Q.
She pontificated about terrible pizza in Jaxxon here.
Jaysus hearts Jaxxie (sidebar: Jaysus bought this Polaroidset from me for two bottles of champagne and a bottle of Malibu rum; he had it framed, and gave it to La Glam for Xmas).
She threw a fantastic NYE05 party.
There’s tons of other examples, too. These are just my favorites. Basically, Jaxxie Glam is awesomes. The best of days to her.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAXXIE
!
the bees’ knees, indeed.
HB!
This is a first: triadic websites clamoring for the most “I heart Jaxxie”ness!
Happy birthday!
happy birthday jaxxxxxxxieeeeeeeee! te amo chica mas fina!
burn down the disco! hang the blessed dj! or at least just knock out a couple of more bricks in honor of your birthday.
tonight’s festivities, if you’re so inclined (and can suffer tivo-ing AR9):
~8:30: cherokee!
~10:30: hal and mal’s and/or martin’s (h&m’s will probably be, ya know, closing…)
~1:45: danny’s downtown for last call and a 1/2 price lapdance.
don’t be a square, yo!
Happy birthday, Jaxxie! Hope you guys had a great time in BR this weekend and that your birthday was swell. I have it on good authority that Anderson Cooper was glowing like an angel at Mardi Gras.