Ghost and Bird in: Tassels and a Zipper.

faked by Friday, February 10th, 2006

Ghost and Bird return, courtesy again of the fine folks at Nyquil. And, bye, Nick. Personally, I was a bit astonished at the umbrage the judges took at his terrifically androgynous suit. Yes, it has no pockets, and yes, it is a silky material—so what?? It’s 2006! Why must we bow to the conventions of yesteryear when they have absolutely no practical resonance today?

First of all, the pocket issue. Listen, I need a suit with pockets, because I carry keys, a wallet, a checkbook, a Blackberry, a phone, and a knife. Also? I do not need something so form-fitting that it doesn’t have pockets, because I don’t have the twenty-four year old/twenty-four inch waist of Daniel V.

He totally looked fine, though, and could easily carry a shoulderbag or even a clutch to handle all his gear. I am genuinely surprised at how conservatively the judges reacted to the no-pockets suit. Listen, the Replacements were singing in nineteen eighty-four about “here come Dick, he’s wearing a skirt/here comes Jane, y’know she’s sporting a chain/Same hair, revolution/Same build, evolution/Tomorrow who’s gonna fuss” in their great “Androgynous” from Let It Be. Paul Westerberg was comforting the unnamed subject of the song that in the future “Kewpie dolls and urinal stalls/Will be laughed at/The way you’re laughed at now,” and I would have thought the last people on earth to attempt to reinforce notions of “masculinity” would be the Project Runway panel of judges. I’m disappointed.

I’m further disappointed because I mostly dug Nick’s work, but also because Santino put Kara Janx in a freaking Blade Runner jumpsuit. It was ridiculous, and the arm fell off. I mean . . . come on. Come on. I know the producers want him for conflict value—and it seems they got their wish, as the preview hinted at Daniel V. venting on him next episode—but Santino just did not have the level of craft going than Nick.

As a last point, boys can’t like silky material? Whatever. Just because all my clothes are distressed cotton doesn’t mean I can’t believe that some boy somewhere would like that. Also? I have a new rule. If you are orange? You cannot speak to me.

Oh, well. In other news, the promising new season of Survivor managed to jump the shark last night in its second episode. I swear—I miss the first twenty minutes of a show, and it all goes to hell. And, yeah!! Don’t boot off the Junky! Oh, keep him! He’s going to do wonders for your tribe! “Three pack a day” addiction, my ass.

Larry Ferrari and I laughed last nite over a tell-tale remark made by the Junky: he didn’t want to go home and see “his kid.” No, he wanted to go home and call his kid. Ah, the absent father. I think it’s so sweet that he, you know, is thinking about how great that phone contact would be. God forbid he takes the kid somewhere, though. I suppose one shouldn’t judge; supervised visitation can probably be a real bitch.

Damn, I think the Ghost’s nasally snark has infected me. To all you Hold Steady fans: have a good time in Red Stick tomorrow night!!

10 Responses to “Ghost and Bird in: Tassels and a Zipper.”

  1. Sally says:

    I know you didn’t just hate on Michael Kors with your orange comment.

    And Survivor casting agents may have hit a new low with the level of stupidity they’ve scrounged up. These people are absolute IDIOTS. Because they merged the tribes, I couldn’t tell who was who during the challenges—but all I know was, I was rooting for the astronaut’s team and hoping the Junky’s team would fail (the Junky is also known as “the cool guy,” what the girl who chose him for her team called him).

    At least they’ve got us talking and interested. These first several weeks are usually fairly boring, you know?

  2. I think the fix was in on Nick from the moment that M-Ko deemed him “vulgar” in the previous episode. I wasn’t much of a Nick partisan, though next week would have been more interesting w/ him instead of w/ Kara, except for the fact of Kara doing a good job and all.

  3. Dotty Parka says:

    OK, so Michael Kors is a Fake Bake Jerk, but have you seen his (insert Heidi Klum accent here) “Olympus Fashion Week” Fall 2006 Collection? It’s pretty incredible.

  4. sween says:

    “I have a new rule. If you are orange? You cannot speak to me.”

    Geez Gorjus, I hope this new rule doesn’t apply to those around you . . . could get pretty lonely. . .

  5. gorjus says:

    AAH!! Jason, you totally nailed me on that point. And Dotty, you’re right—that’s a very clean, classic collection (with pockets!). And I dig that circle-belt buckle.

  6. jaysus says:

    heh. “supervised visitation can probably be a real bitch.” touche’.

  7. Liz says:

    Ah, I love the cartoon! Commentary in illustration form = yes

  8. Darren says:

    If you follow Dotty Parka’s link and do some digging, you can find out who gets booted from Project Runway this week.

  9. Sue says:

    Nick shouldn’t have been booted, for all the reasons stated here. Plus, he’s now the reason that I’m thinking of Let It Be after many years—I think I listened to that album for a year straight. It’s even why I chose the room I did in my college slacker house—the windows on the front looked just like the cover of LIB.

  10. Mr. Mooch says:

    man….i dunno. a suit w/o pockets OR a button/fastener of any sort on the jacket? MAYBE if it looked good. it didn’t. as for pockets? men need pockets, they tend not to carry a purse. my suit today had 10 pockets PLUS another small pocket in my right hand side pocket that holds my change seperate from my keys to keep all jangling to a minimum. this fool didn’t even have a button hole. as for the material, it was just too much shine on a weird tan/mauve hybird that just sucked. the other part is that the sewing sucked and it showed. the garmet he tried to make seems to be remarkably difficult to do in such a short time and perhaps was a bad choice.

    None the less, that’s nothing compared to Santino’s glued together outfit. that’s not even clothing. its an art project. He blows and he constantly does a shit job. clearly he’s on bc he’s the one everyone wants to hate. this whole season has beena build up to next week’s ep which seems to be pitched as a big santino tell-off.

    Chloe looked like she had a red dress and a saddle on her back.

    MORE ghost and bird!