*Now you know why I keep all those coathangers around the haus.
I hate this fone so much. Seriously. I wish I could retcon it out of my personal chronology—although Mr. George Lucas has provided much detail as to how that can screw up everything. Listen: Han shot first. You don’t make Han a bad guy for letting him tag Greedo before he could get popped—you clearly show him for what he is: the charming rogue who’s a tad amoral, but with a heart of gold. You know, George: storytelling!
I still refuse to watch Episode III. I shall never.
(p.s. Hey, Pinky! Dad was asking for some Xmas ideas from me. Um, that t-shirt, in large . . . would be about right.)
Anyway, I used to love talking on the fone more than just about anything in the world. I’d talk for hours, and always end up with unsane phone bills. Now? If I can barely squawk my way through a convo to figure out where I’m supposed to me Sally for lunch, I consider myself lucky.
Gorjus: Ahoy-hoy!
Sally: Er.
Gorjus: “And lo, said the Lord: ‘you shall eat fried rice, and in unreasonable quantities, along with softened noodles.’”
Sally: I’m up for that. Where at?
Gorjus: Sun Koon. They’ve got a fine tofu dish on the buffet. 11:30?
Sally: Yeah! See you then.
The Curtain CLOSES; when it OPENS again, Gorjus is sitting in the “foyer” of Sun Koon, which consists of three folding chairs and a soiled Jackson Free Press. A clock embossed with surfing children and cartoon cats shows the time to be 11:52.
Gorjus (to himself): “And lo, said the Lord: ‘you got stood up, chumpy.’”
A fone RINGS.
Gorjus: Ahoy-hoy!
Sally: Hey! So, er, ah . . .
Gorjus: I’m assuming by your perkiness that you weren’t in a car wreck, or anything else that would have caused you to STAND YR BEST FRIEND UP.
Sally: I hate it when you say “yr.” I’m, uh, at the . . . Peking? The Chinese place . . . about 100 yards up from you on the frontage road?
Gorjus (cursing multiple Chinese restaurants on the same stretch of frontage road under his breath): Curses!
So, I had, like, a two-hour lunch yesterday. What did you do?
xo
Song: Rilo Kiley, “With Arms Outstretched.”
Booze: Chambord + Ballatore.
I can’t believe you’d ever put any portion of K-Fed, much less his head, anywhere near your mouth.
Federline, yo.
i got your present in yesterday, well, ANOTHER one of your presents. and, um, i forgotted what shirt it is. email me in secrecy…shhhh
oh, i like the fact that the fone has full service in hell. HA!
actually, Ep 3 is by far the best of the 3. really nothing is ‘tinkered with’ and i’ve said this before, i’ll say it again: McGregor’s scene in the final battle with (soon to be) Vader is the best acting by any actor in any Star Wars movie. seriously.
and . . . I’m with the Prof. you’d totally have to talk in his mouth and that’s total grossout.
Actually, I think you talk into his ear and his mouth, you know, talks into yours. I think I’m holding it wrong in this picture. It really makes a lot of sense once you think about it.
We should both go get big brick sized old school Nokia phones and say to hell with fashionable flip phones. Of course, I’ll have to get a bigger purse.
I’ve dealt with my busted p.o.s. phone for so long that I hate talking on the phone in general. I don’t even want a new one now. I want an answering service that will take care of whatever it is people want and relay only the fun messages to me.