Setting: Prof. Fury approaches the register at his comic book store, pile of comics in hand. Male Clerk is behind the counter. Anomalous Female Clerk is nearby, bagging comics. Background noise: Fox News on the television —it’s always on the television—plus an occasional grunt as two patrons who are pretending not to look at the adult comics in the back room run into each other.
Prof: Well, I guess I’ve spent about enough money for one day.Female clerk [jovially]: Come on! Treat yourself to an early Christmas present! I just bought myself an MP3 player.
Male clerk [in the spirit of things]: Yeah, and I’m gonna order a mail order bride!
Female clerk [still jovial]: Oh sure, where are you going to get the money for that?
Male clerk: You can get one from Romania for only about $3,000. And I read a report that said that the divorce rate for mail-order brides coming from poor countries to rich countries is, like, 2 percent.
Prof [kidding]: Well, you seem to know a lot of details about this!
Male clerk [soberly]: Yeah, I looked into it earlier this year. I still might do it.
Prof: ...
Male clerk [sagely]: That way you don’t have to put up with all the bullshit.
Prof: ...
Female clerk [attempting to divert the conversation a bit]: I heard about a pair of midgets in Korea who got mail-order brides from China, but the brides ran away as soon as they got there.
Male clerk: How do you tell a midget from a Korean anyway?
All true. All so, so true.
Buy X-Factor #1, by Peter David and Ryan Sook. Easily the best thing to come out this week, and maybe this month, if you take Morrison out of the equation, and I say that as someone who generally couldn’t care less about Marvel’s mutant titles, especially post-”Decimation.” David continues his innovative and moody noir-style investigation exploration of both the economic advantages and the existential pitfalls of having the ability to create an infinite number of duplicates of yourself at will. All of David’s flair for wit and characterization is on display, without any of the forced jokiness that turns some people off to his work. Plus—a genuinely surprising twist ending!
Oh. MY. Dude, you totally need to swap stores!! Fox News + Mailorder Brides = Disaster.
“Bub.” Heh.
So, what’ll it be, Bub? Fox News with Sarah, Plain and Tall or a clerk who overly identifies with the most over-hyped chatacter in all of comics?
horse??
are you kids living with cruz now?
Maybe. Don’t judge us.
jesus…And i thought I heard some comic shop rants. One year this fella, lets call him Billy, man…he just couldn’t SHUT UP about how great gorj. was when i came in. jesus. he knows we’re pals and would just go ON AND ON, as if he were trying to REALLY put a good word in for gorj. ...like i was the dean thinking of expelling him for some hyjinx he pulled. I dunno…
Comics:
X-factor huh? i’ve not read this comic more than 3 times since it was the ‘old xmen’ reformed in the 80s (but BOY did i read that run!). what’s this about? I used to like peter david, but at some point when he’d done his 300th hulk in a row, etc. he started to go stale. i really used to like that Supergirl series he did. at least in the beginning (and Gary Frank art to boot!). that is the only straight superhero book i’ve ever seen female readers get into. i’m talking about average, not exactly into super heroes, female readers here.
Solo: read any of those?DC puts them out every couple of months. one artist does a collection of stories all on his own. they can be about anything. Mike Alred’s just came out and it was like a love note to childhood comics. REALLY good and actually pretty well written. I swear to god, I normally think this guy has no business writing a GROCERY LIST, let alone a comic!...oh well, he sure can draw a funny book!
Marvel Monsters: Marvel has a few ‘monster’ one shots. Devil Dinosaur, and the monsters like Kirby did in the pre-super hero Marvel anthology. I got “The Fin Fang Four” were mr. Fantastic shrinks a few monsters down to normal size, takes away their powers, and gives them jobs at the baxter building. good art and it made me chuckle, so its well worth it!
FF: Big in Japan: anyone see this? the art reminds me of a moebius sfited through the carefree feel of some manga. the characters are drawn sorta ‘regular people’-like, and they are often striking ‘hero poses’ which is pretty funny. some of the art has a little of that wonderful Darrow-like detail/clutter which just makes me happy to see.
Anybody see jose Ladron? man i loved that guy? I also really like Mark Texeria. his wolverine, ghost rider, and black panther were great. he’s on Wolverine again, but i can’t make myself care…even for him. it looks like i’ll hate to read it. speaking of ghost rider, i REALLY wanted to enjoy the new series, but perhaps its best left on the stand. the ‘Garth Ennis’ on the cover inspired me, but the art is so computer-y soulless that it reminds me of nearly any ultimate __ cover…especially when they get their computer-y goo on lame ass’d mark bagley.
Birds of Prey: prof says its great….WHAT
i buy every comic they put out with BOP written on it for the last decade. i call it quits and NOW you say its great? grrrrrrrr.
Conan: Can’t get enough of the new Conan. Red Sonja isn’t horrible either.
You reading lone wolf and cub? (swear to god, i almost spelled that “loan wolf” oy) i got all 28 TPBs and they are outstanding. actually a real education on japanese culture. i’m missnig #1, actually becaue Dr. Wagner got it…you wanna give that back? i’ll return your LSH archive! I read all those trades over the course of about 1 year. that ’s 28 books at 300 pages each. damn. it actually flew by.
Your negative comments with Mike Allred will be remembered when the revolution comes.
The new X-Factor is spinning out of the Madrox mini-series from a while back; Madrox is running a detective agency, this time w/ Strong Guy, Wolfsbane, Siryn, a de-powered Rictor, some others. I liked the Madrox mini a lot, and this looks to be even better so far. Plus, Ryan Sook is great.
Did you hear that Busiek is leaving Conan? And that nxt year, “Legion” is becoming “Supergirl and the Legion of Super-Heroes?”
Um. I re-read Dark Knight, and it kinda blew, but it was awesome. And, I re-read Kingdom Come, and it totally blew, but . . . I like Superman’s costume.
!
$3,000? Really?
That’s all?
?!
Mooch…did you say you had seen Ladron on something? Where the hell has he been? That bastard dropped off my radar after that Superman thing and I aint seen him since. He was great. Damn he drew good comics.
Only if you like Moebius + Kirby mashups. Which, EYE DEW.
Well, I like the newest LSH a LOT and I’ve enjoyed all the various Power Girl stories lately. I don’t know if they’ve ever handled that character so well. will it be her or the ‘new’ supergirl (which isn’t so bad when NOT drawn by artists i hate like turner. jesus, you may as well get rob liefeld).
Jose Ladron has done 2 covers for the new Conan (#20 & 21) series which were very good, but don’t look so Kirby-esque.
As for Allred, i’ve ALWAYS really liked him a lot. maybe one of my favorite artists. however, much of his body of WRITTEN work in almost non-sensical its so bad.
while i’m thinking about it, hasn’t rob liefeld started doing comics again? god. he was ALWAYS so bad. how did he ever get THAT popular?
god bless the comic shop. I just got the 500 page Jonah Hex TPB, an ipod and Shelby Foote’s THE CIVIL WAR vols 1 and 2 on ‘audiobook’. i am now officially ready for the flight to and from San Francisco.
Ah yes, Shelby Foote. The man who famously said that if his black friends would just read the Confederate States of America constitution, they’d see that the Confederacy wasn’t really about racism.
I crack only in love. I know he’s your Delta homie.