So after Tofurkey Day I spent the better part of two days sorting through gorjus artifacts that have been housed for nearly four years in the hinterlands of Alabama.
I found a few wonderful things—a knife my grandfather had given me when I was a child (he traded me for it), an old U.S. Steel sign riddled with rusty bullet holes, a stack of vintage t-shirts that barely fit me thirty pounds ago, and boxes and boxes of drawings, fliers, and woefully terrible poetry. Juvenilia, mostly.
For the first time ever, I threw away drawings and poems and stories. And I’m well rid of them; I’ve always been a pack-rat, but some of that stuff was just awful. For years now I’ve been wanting to find all my old fliers and posters, and . . . now that I have, I’m a little let down. In my mind, some of the stuff was great. Some of it is—mostly the collaborations with other people. My own stuff is self-indulgent and murky. There were a few surprises—an invitation to a Teen Satan show, a red-white-and-blue series of fliers for White Chocolate—but most of it was just derivative. Worse, it was derivative of my own stuff. That’s pretty bad.
Some of it did make me laugh. I found this flier? Letter? Cartoon that I did in 1999. “Cramp” was a ‘zine a friend of mine published. All the rest are very 1999 problems and/or annoyances.
It should probably bother me that my art-ability has scarcely improved in, oh, six years. The Jon Spencer Blues Explosion finally quit confusing dorx and just became the “Blues Explosion” a couple years back. Dawson and Joey never did get back together. And why in the hell did I have a subscription to George?
I still see a black trenchcoat now and then. And they’re still dorky.
UPDATE! Dr. Wagner also has some Thanksgiving prizes! If you’re interesting in increasingly rare Teen Satan-centered art, he has it!
Well, at least now we know why George went out o’ business—slacker subscribers never paying their bills. And I’m digging the ankh on trench-dude—that’s how you tell the sweet goths from the ones with rifles!
I love the bills. Reminds me of the scene in Ladykillers where J.K. Simmons’ character has replaced the loot with all his Liberal Publications. Stacks of Harpers, Mother Jones, Nation, Progressive (ostensibly unread)—it looked just like my office.
I like the bills, too. Judging by the floor of your apartment, over the past six years you’ve expanded this cartoon panel into an installation piece.
Hey, yeah, looking at those bills again—how delinquent do you have to be before Blockbuster starts sending mail to your house?
I think the main difference between this and your work now is the smarmy comments at the bottom of each panel. In your golden years, you are more likely to let something stand instead of explaining it to death:
See? See? This is why you suck. Here is another reason. Add a benign insult, and we’re off to the next panel!
So, I’m in my “Golden Years”? Yay!
I no longer have a mail problem. I just throw it away now when I get it! And I actually pay the bills. Never paid that George one, though; heh.
As far as Blockbuster goes, pretty much you have to steal their copy of The Electric Cowboy. Um. If, by “steal,” you mean, “never return.”
Or “Blood of Heroes” or something you rent on your roomate’s account. Then they’ll be a sendin’.
Funny that you were of the same mind. Is there some kind of dig up the old crap and throw it away ‘cause its Thanksgiving and you’re thirty for god’s sake?!!
I found some old Teen Satan sketches (funny pictures of Gorjus and Big Grey) and scanned em…and also my sketches of “dream car” from 1989.
I would kill for the teen satan flyer that had the ROTC pic on it, and had the caption:
“teen satan – millions strong like sperm, but better tasting.”
or something like that.
as i recall, i one of the loves of your life had little round sunglasses…eh, Gorj?
Franklin, I can’t believe you remember that!! I found that when cleaning out the shed. I’ll post it later, probably. It was an invitation to join our fan-club, the “Sin League.” And yes, you got the motto right!
And, round sunglasses?? I should hope not.
Have you finished your Tofurkey essay contest entry yet? Man, time is running out! You only have four months to perfect your 250 word masterpiece.