PrettyFakes

Seriously: there is so much stuff at the Hudson’s right now, it’s a bit overwhelming. The word on the streets is that it’s the inventory from the New Orleans’ Virgin Megastore, but I’m not sure I buy that. I’ve gone three times so far; the tally is at the end, and will give you an idea of what all they have.

Dr. Wagner and I had lunch at Sun Koon the other day and sussed out our frustrations with the new Amazing Race, which is the “family edition.” We thought up three reasons why he doesn’t like this year’s TAR (although we’re both still watching). Put simply, it seems that there are three “watchable” dynamics that undercut shows like TAR and Survivor: 1. location; 2. interpersonal relationships; and 3. challenges.

As to Number One, TAR going to mundane places in the United States, like recent the recent visit to Hattiesburg—well, that’s no Calcutta, nor is there anything cool or mysterious about it . . . there’s no sunken temple, no whirling Dervishes, no mystery. Especially if the “challenge” is to go to a trailer park. It just can’t compare to the exotic locations of seasons past.

As to Number Two, we contend the sexual or intimate relationships of couples, or the complexity of adult friend and family relationships are more interesting and fun to watch then the dynamics of four family members. It might have helped if this year’s cast weren’t so vanilla (literally; the one African-American family, the Blacks (not kidding), were knocked off the first episode). There are no Latinos, no homosexuals, no adopted family members, no mixed-race families . . . it’s utterly boring because of the lack of diversity. Look, they’re from Ohio! Look, they’re from . . . Florida. SNOOZE.

(What’s been surprising is that my absolute favorite family is the Gaghans, likely because of spitfire Carissa).

As to Number 3, the watered-down “challenges” of this year cannot compare to the thrill-inducing risks of past years. I mean, Gretchen coulda died IN A CAVE IN AFRICA last year!! There was blood everywhere! This year? Again, they ran around in a trailer park in Hattiesburg. There’s no danger, no scream-factor, and thus, less fun.

Another point might be that the stress of the interpersonal relationships is less delicious now; or, Why the Paolos are no Jonathan & Victoria: With a terrible couple, you just cheer for them to break up. Kelly and Ron? BREAK UP!! SHE SUXXIT!! Adam and Rebecca? DUMP HIM! HE’S A SISSY!!With a family, you just feel . . . sort of gross. Brock and his Do What I Say Because God Hath Made Me Head of This Family Dad? What will Young Brock have to do, murder his father to get out of that effing situation? Jeez. It’s just depressing, not fun.

End TAR 8 Analysis.

Stuff I’ve gotten from Hudson’s! Uh, this list mite be a bit incomplete, even.

Books, Poetry, Anthologies, and Short-Story Collections:

Broken Summers, Henry Rollins
McSweeney’s volume XIV, Various
“” volume XV, Various
How We Are Hungry, Dave Eggers
Sailing Alone Around the Room, Billy Collins
Album: Style and Image in Sleeve Design, Nick de Ville
Another Bullshit Night in Suck City, Nick Flynn [Best title of ALL TIME]
Bolan: The Rise and Fall of a 20th Century Superstar, Mark Paytress
Men and Cartoons, Jonathan Lethem
Tales to Astonish: Jack Kirby, Stan Lee, and the American Comic Book Revolution, Ronin Ro
The Polysyllabic Spree, Nick Hornby
Bruce Springsteen “Talking,” John W. Duffy
Bruce Springsteen’s America: The People Listening, A Poet Singing, Robert Coles
Racing in the Street: The Bruce Springsteen Reader, Edited by June Skinner Sawyers
The Jam: Sounds from the Street, Graham Willmott
The Fleetwood Mac Story: Rumours and Lies, Bob Brunning
Double Duce, Aaron Cometbus
Lit Riffs [“Writers ‘cover’ songs they love”], Various

Audio Recordings:

Postal Service, “We Will Become Silhouettes” (CD single)
Band Aid 20, “Do They Know It’s Christmas” (CD Single)
James, Laid (CD) [because Sally stole my copy, but it’s okay, because I want everyone to heart this record]
James, Getting Way with It . . . Live (2 x CD)
Faces, Five Guys Walk Into a Bar . . . (4 x CD)
Babybird, Ugly Beautiful (CD) [featuring “You’re Gorgeous”]
Henry Rollins, Talk Is Cheap (Volume 1) (2 x CD)
Ryan Adams, Rock N Roll (SACD)
Pixies, Come on Pilgrim (LP) (reissue)
R.E.M., Around the Sun (2 x LP)
Morrissey, “Irish Blood, English Heart” b/w “It’s Hard to Walk Tall When You’re Small,” “Munich Air Disaster 1958,” “The Never-Played Symphonies” (45)
Morrissey, “First of the Gang to Die” (CD single)
Morrissey, “First of the Gang to Die” b/w “My Life Is a Succession of People Saying Goodbye,” “Teenage Dad on His Estate,” “Mexico”(45)
U2, “Vertigo” b/w . . . er, “Vertigo,” the same album track! Cheap bastards! (45)

Comics

The Last Lonely Saturday, Jordan Crane
DC Universe Christmas, Various
Star Wars: Screams in the Void (collecting issues 54-67 and annual 2 of the original Marvel Series), Various
Hellboy: Conqueror Worm, Mike Mignola
Hellboy: The Right Hand of Doom, Mike Mignola
Powers: Roleplay, Brian Michael Bendis and Michael Avon Oeming
Minor Miracles, Will Eisner
Krazy and Ignatz: 1927 through 1928, George Herriman
Krazy and Ignatz: 1929 through 1930, George Herriman
Return of the Bunny Suicides, Andy Riley
Death: At Death’s Door, Jill Thompson
Milk and Cheese: Fun with Milk and Cheese, Evan Dorkin
Promethea, Book 3, Alan Moore, J.H. Williams, III, Mick Gray, Jeromy Cox

The end. I gotta get to reading! And, listening. Ciao, gorjus babies.

This entry was posted on Friday, October 21st, 2005 at 9:18 am and is filed under Cartoons, Gorjus, Poetry, Polaroids, TeeVee, The Rock and The Roll. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.