Okay, let’s face it: I’m tapped.
Sometimes I just hit a creative wall, and when I do, things like today’s love story happen—or worse. I become loonier & loonier. As much as I liked drawing 501 + her beau, I hit a wall that no amount of fruity chardonnay could propel me through. And so, in order to hurtle said wall of . . . something, I’m announcing the First Pretty Fakes Cartoon Contest!
How to enter:
Name the robot, and send me your name at prettyfakes[at]gmail.com. That’s all you have to do!
What you win:
The original, all-paper version of this cartoon! And, probably some beat-up comic books from the 1980’s, but you don’t have to take those if you don’t wanna. Note: original all-paper version of this cartoon is marred by Scotch tape, shaky handwriting, margin sketches, wine splotches, and what appears to be a couple of spots of Heinz Hot & Spicy Ketchup Kick’rs.
Dear Heinz,Let’s talk for a moment. I really, really like spicy stuff, and when you introduced yr Tabasco-dosed brand a while back, I was v. excited.
Then you went and screwed it all up. Because, it’s not “Heinz Ketchup with Tabasco,” the apparently under-descriptive name you launched it under; it’s now “Heinz Hot & Spicy Ketchup Kick’rs.”
Let’s get this straight: I am a grown goddamned man. I do not want to have to figure out which vowel you’ve wrongly eliminated by use of an apostrophe. If there were an unnecessary-hyphen in there? I’m all good with that, babe. But unnecessary elimination of vowels and subsequent replacement by an apostrophe?
Stop Doing That, You Asses,
Gorjus
p.s. Morningstar Farms, I’m sort of exempting you from this policy because yr “chik’n” isn’t actually chicken. And? It is delicious. Also? You have apparently trademarked your use of “chik patties,” although a whole lot of other people are real interested in the gooby frase “chik’n.”
So, anyway! Please enter our first contest! I have to admit: if you give me backstory about the families? I’ll heart you that much more. Contest closes in one week—that is, Wednesday, June 29. Enter as many times as you like! We’ll announce the winner, and the best other robot names, at that time!
so the point is to name a boy robot in love with a pair of jeans. Let’s call him Misha.
Zing!
i always loved fruit follies!
you know, hunter S. thompson used to write stuff like that all the time…but he’d send it. one of the funniest things i ever read was his note with a jacket he returned. it explained how the thing didn’t match the catalogue and just went off the rails from there.
SEND EM! i say do it by fax!
i think heinz should have emphasized just how hot that stuff is/was.
it’s more like tabasco with a splash of ketchup.
and i like hot stuff.
anyway.
robot name forthcoming.
um, so, yeah, patrick said he already won, but your blog says the contest goes on for a week. what gives? just b/c his birthday is tomorrow doesn’t mean he gets a special break!
I said I already wone because if I don’t Misha’s gonna kick your heathen ass.
my heathen ass? does this have something to do with me taking my clothes off to protest the robot, i mean, misha?
i really, really hope laura shows up tonight in her birthday suit. it’s someone’s birthday and all…
this is out of control.
Buckshot Apertif
Cedric Schlabotnik III
Mr. Peeps
Manzanita Jones
Leif
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