Dear Pinky,

faked by Monday, May 16th, 2005

Happy Birthday. Damn, you’re OLD. I mean, I’m older (by fifteen months!), but with the baby and all, that means you’re WAAAAY older than me! Ha ha!

I didn’t make you that e.e. cummings poem, but I did get you a cool book on Law & Order. Um, I haven’t sent it yet, because, uh, I live real far away from a post office. I mean, it is literally miles. HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF YARDS. Okay, I suck.

Because it’s your birthday I’ve been thinking about stuff we used to do and laffing. One of my favorite memories I’ve already drawn about before.

People think your name is from Pinky Tuscadero, and I suppose that part is, but they don’t know your secret code-name last-name: Karmannghia. Do you remember when you made that up? Me and you and Vernon would take a tape recorder and make fake commercials, which we thought were a riot. And we had, God knows why, competing car lots, and you were Pinky Karmannghia, and you were slashing prices, and we just thought that was hilarious.

Do you remember that you once got in a fight for me? We were like, leetle. I think I was in fourth grade, and you were in third, and you were just a little chubby thing, and I was a terribly skinny nerd with braces, and some idiot called me (not inaccurately) a nerd, and you totally got in his face over it, and I can’t remember if you actually hit him, but I do konw that he backed down, and that no-one even teased me over it, because they were pretty sure you’d whomp them!

You did that, of course, because you are a beautiful Southern Scotch-Irish spitfire. When Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends came out, you got the other nickname you’ve carried since we were kids: Firestar.

One of the stories I always tell to illustrate your personality to my friends is a story, maybe half-imagined, of us being at Rick’s sometime in the mid-90’s (who were we watching? I remember it being crowded, so it might have been Starkstockapalooza—Garrison Starr or Potatobone, maybe? simple machine?). It was so packed I was buying beer four at a time, two for me and two for you, and we’re standing there with our two beers next to Big Gray or Dr. Wagner or somebody and you spot some fresh-faced little Sigma Chi farmboy, and your eyebrow goes up, and you take a swig out of one bottle, and then one out of the other, and—never taking your eyes off the prize—say, “kids, I’ll catch you tomorrow,” and stroll off after the farmboy.

Girls that do that? Are cool.

You know, you never really see the people you’ve known all your life until other people talk to you about them, and I remember this one time you went up to MusiQuarium, and Nat-X was working, and she came up to me and said, is that her? That’s your sister? And I was like, uh, yeah, and she said, she is beautiful. And, you are.

I know I don’t talk to you enough, and we’re old, and you’ve got a family, and I’ve got work, but I want you to know that I love you very, very much. You are an amazing woman.


p.s. I’m chopping up every-one’s previous comments so they can tell you happy birthday on yr birthday post!! For real! And? SHE’S TWENTY-NINE, FOLX. Old!! But, still v. hott.

10 Responses to “Dear Pinky,”

  1. Sally says:

    Happy birthday again, Pinky!

    This is much better than being perved by your brother.

  2. Dr. Wagner says:

    Happy Birthday, gal. Hope everything is well and that your little girl knows how cool her mom is.

  3. Jaxxie says:

    This is a really lovely post.
    Happy Birthday Pinky Firestar

  4. gorjus says:


  5. Happy birthday, Pinks!

  6. pinky says:

    this is just beautiful, i cannot thank you enough, gorjus. and yes, i did hit the boy that was making fun of you. i was always willing to get in a fight for my brother. ‘member that time in college, when i tried to do it again? you laughed at me!! and then you hugged me for still trying to protect you.

    and of course i remember making the commercials!! we have SO got to find those. too, too funny. i love you muches. thank you, thank you, thank you….

  7. vendela says:

    happy b’day! kharmanghias are the raddest!

  8. gorjus says:

    I don’t remember the college time! Were we drunk? Spill some beans!

  9. pinky says:

    A party out at the big white house in the county. Potatobone, White Trash Superman, couple others playing. It was a Halloween party. You were actually one of the bouncers for the party and some acid-tripping, 130 pound punk was getting in your face. I grabbed him and went to hit him when you grabbed me. I remember yelling at him not to talk to my brother like that or I would kick his skinny ass! And I would have I think we were like 18? 19?

  10. gorjus says:

    HA! I very vaguely remember that.