Hey, emotionally stunted narcissists longing to live in a fantasy world free of the complications of contemporary adult life! Comics!
Also! Skip to the bottom for the latest installment of Comic Conspiracy Update!
Since last week was a bit of a light week for me in terms of the regular series I read, I decided to experiment with a couple of titles I’d been hearing good things about but had resisted picking up.
First off, I bought Birds of Prey #82. One of the most egregious sins of 1990s-era comics was the “Bad Girl” trend. Hyped to the highest rafters of insufferability by Wizard magazine, these books—Catwoman, Shi, Lady Death—were typically light on story and heavy on bizarrely proportioned women wearing improbable thongs and bending over a lot. I had always kind of assumed that BoP was DC’s attempt to cash in on that trend (a year or so too late, typically), especially given that one of the main artists for a long time was renowned T&A-ster Ed Benes. But I was always tempted by the book: I heard good things about new writer Gail Simone; one of the stars is the Black Canary, she of the 1980s Justice League for which I have such affection; and one of the other stars is a hot librarian, and I am married to a hot librarian. Finally, the recent addition of one of my favorite artists, Joe Bennett—he of Captain America and the Falcon and, most importantly, The Crew—encouraged me to give it a shot. And I was pleasantly surprised. Bennett’s art looks as good as ever, if a little more traditional than some of his Marvel work—he’s either using a thinner line, or inker Jake Jadson is reining in his darker tendnecies. It’s moderately irksome that none of his women seem to have noses when viewed from the front, but that’s okay. And I’m digging Simone’s take on the Black Canary. In retrospect, her characterization in the 80s Justice League was one of the major bum notes of that series; she mainly existed as a clench-jawed caricature of a feminist battle-axe, humorless and sour—rather like the characterization Giffen and DeMatties are giving Power Girl in I Can’t Believe It’s Not the Justice League right now, in fact. Anyway, she never got much development in that era, instead serving mainly as a foil for Beetle and Booster’s adolescent pranks and for Guy Gardner’s Reaganite machismo. In BoP, though, Simone is very smartly developing the idea that, as the daughter of the Golden Age Black Canary, Dinah has a unique father-daughter dynamic with many of DC’s GA mainstays. In this issue, for instance, a mission to Singapore provides not just an opportunity for Bennett to render some first-rate martial arts action, but also for Simone to explore the relationship between an aging superhero who still wants to remain active and a “niece” who respects him but also wants to protect him. There is a one-page disaster, though—Booster Gold calls Oracle to see if she can help him track down Blue Beetle, who has mysteriously gone missing—mysteriously, that is, if you don’t know that he was shot in his head by one of his best friends in the worst comic ever produced in the history of comics. Bleh. But as long as the DC Countdown crossover is kept to a minimum, this might be the one title that survives my DC-wide boycott.
I also picked up DC Special: The Return of Donna Troy. I’ve always liked Donna Troy, the former Wonder Girl of the Teen Titans, an affection that dates back, as I assume it does for many others, to the legendary New Teen Titans #38, “Who is Wonder Girl?”—a small, quiet issue remarkably free of supervillains or natural disasters, in which Robin helps Donna track down her biological parents. Unfortunately, because of various rejiggerings to Wonder Woman’s origin story over the years, Wonder Girl’s origin stopped making sense in DC continuity, so Wolfman and Perez followed up their tiny gem of a story with the nonsensical, sprawling mythological space opera “Who is Donna Troy?” to make her backstory make sense again—as though anyone really cared if all the ends matched up perfectly. Anyway, her history got so convoluted that they killed her off a few years ago, and her return in this 4-issue mini-series is supposed to be the definitive statement on her character and her place in the DCU. Unfortunately, writer Phil Jiminez takes his lead from the lesser of her two previous origin stories, and the result is the sort of overwrought mythological tripe of the sort that drives readers away from Thor on a regular basis. Avoid at all costs, or at least until the Titans show up.
Comic Conspiracy Update! (spoilers)
Okay: so some mysteries that have been percolating in various titles I read have seen considerable development this month. First up is the identity of the “Winter Soldier”—the mysterious assassain who killed the Red Skull and has been bedeviling Cap at the orders of General Luskin. It seems that that whole “Let’s make Bucky a real badass” story that I wrote about last month wasn’t so pointless as it initially seemed—the Winter Soldier is Bucky, back from the dead, with some cyborg parts and a mad-on for Cap! Now, of course he’s not Bucky, really. I guess? Because even though I know it’s not, Brubaker has me wondering. But since the Winter Soldier just killed Jack Monroe, aka Nomad aka Scourge II aka Crazy Bucky of the 1950s, who looks just like the original Bucky, my guess is that it’s some kind of identity-stealing thing. Maybe a souped-up Deathlok? I dunno.
In Ultimates 2 #6, we get a glimpse of the traitor behind the team’s recent troubles—or at least his arm and gloved hand. My guess is Tony Stark. Or Loki just messing with Hank Pym’s head. I dunno. I’m still a-twitter about the Bucky thing.
Oh, that Titans story was great and actually had what so very few comics involving the alleged detectives Batman & Robin/Nightwing bother to include: actual detecting. It’s fairly dated by today’s standards (I seem to remember Robin’s Batcave computer taking several hours to parse possible combinations of about eleven letters), and I really wish it would pop up as a reprint some-where, as the mid-eighties newsprint doesn’t reproduce those vintage Perez lines.
As to the Ultimates, I don’t think it’s Tony Stark. There’s a few lines in there that make me think that it’s—SPOILER!! Cap or Hawkeye. The “this country doesn’t represent me any-more” stuff, with references to Gitmo, &tc. Hawkeye has no character in these stories, but Cap? Certainly does. And wouldn’t such a true-blue moral character be horrified at some of the stuff his country is doing? Perhaps.
Man, I would love for it to be Cap—that would make my day. The reason I leaned away from that idea was the speech patterns of the traitor—”Oh, Hank, didn’t you see?” That “Oh, Hank” didn’t sound like Cap, but what do I know? It would be interesting if Cap’s public hostility towards Pym was an elaborate ruse, though.
My favorite part of this issue: the look the two robots give each other when Hank says they’re “totally expendable.” Heh.
Dr. Wagner has graced me with a copy of his World’s Finest Archives Vol. 1. in this, batman and robin attempt the most amazing rescue i’ve ever seen. They set the batplane on autopilot and climb down the ladder inorder to board a HELICOPTER from ABOVE.
ahem
luckily this freaked out the crooks and they shot/wounded the batplane, avoiding the disaster that (apparently, only I saw) was sure to happen.
Those are some dumb crooks. You know Bats would have pulled it off, though—they would have timed the rotation of the blades so they could jump through them just right.
Yeah, the “oh, Hank” was odd. And I think Cap’s loathing of him is genuine. At first I thought it was Seventies Traveling Banner, but, er, that doesn’t make any sense. It mite very well be Tony (strokes chin).
Beetle is dead?! Holy crap. Who shot him? Red Skull is dead? Again? Ok. Donna Troy is not dead? I thought Bucky staying dead was the law. He’s the only one who actually stays dead. Damn. I hate comics sometimes. But then I love them again, so I hate myself.
That World’s Finest kicks a lot of ass.
Oh, Dr. Wagner, I’ve got some bad news for you. Maxwell Lord shot him. In the head. Execution style. And before he shot him, he revealed that his entire time as the financial backer and sponsor of the JL was just a ruse so that he could keep the team ineffecient, ineffective, and incompetent, thus ripping the heart out of the whole Giffen/DeMatteis/Maguire run. Yeah. It sucked.
I’m pretty sure Bucky is still dead. I think.
Well, damn. That kind of takes the fun out of things. Jeez. What a kick in the stomach. I really feel like I just got kicked in the gut. Damn. I’m glad I didn’t read that trash. Thanks for saving me the hate.
God. Anybody seen the Butterfly Effect? I felt sorta the same way after watching that. Had a lot of fun with the story and then BAM here’s a kick in the balls!
i like donna troy, but i rarely like a comic about her. i don’t know why. sometimes she’d be ok in Titans (devin grayson era), but other than that, i don’t think i cared about her beyond the mini wonder woman (old) teen titans era.
speaking of which, why don’t they make a few stories of the Silver Age adventures. i always like that from DC. nothing like singing us sweet new memories so that we don’t have to actually READ those old comics. often they sucked.
And sense no one brought it up and it is related to..well, not much said here so far…I got to thinking about the Batman TV show and those that complain about it ‘ruining’ the character by making it all camp. you ever thought about how centered that is on the here and now? god, if you look at…oh, idunno…the DECADE of batman stories pre 1966, you’d find nothing but looney camp. the show was, in many ways, JUST like the comic…down to the bat ears looking like dick sprang drew ‘em.
i just stopped reading BOP. i’ve read it…every issue they ever put out…over the last decade or so. i just got sorta tired of it, which is a shame because it is, more often than not, a good read.
speaking of Birds of Prey, Gary Frank was the org. penciler on that title. what’s he doing now?
Gary Frank is doing Supreme Power now, right? I think that’s him. I did him—used to love his Hulk stuff. I didn’t realize he was the penciller on BoP.
And that’s a good point about the 60s Batman show being a faithful adaptation of the 50s comics! Giant typewriters and Bat-Mite and what-not. Freaky stuff.
man, i freakin’ loved batmite as a kid. him and mr. mix-ul-plict (screw you Mark Waid, that’s how they said it on the Super Friends, and that’s law to me!).
Are you familiar with Sheldon Moldolf? (created Hawkman, did lots of Golden/Silver age artwork—notably a bob kane ‘ghost’[see “Robin Dies at Dawn”], the cover to the 1st GA appearances of the Flash AND Green Lantern, etc). anyway i got him to do some work for me about 10 years ago. never got a HUGE cover reproduction i wanted, but got a few nice ones. anyway, i have a bad ass BATMITE (turning invisible, no less) by him—inked and colored—in my hall by the bathroom door.
batmite is the best. now if i could just get his 1st appearance!
gary frank did the first few mini-series shots of BOP. i cannot recall if he did the initial story on the series or not. he was followed by a stream of very similar artists (read: great) that kept me reading for years. one of my current favorites that had a LONG BOP run was Greg Land. man i love that guy’s art.
Gary Frank IS on Supreme Power, which mite be why it is SOOO SLOW.
I say “Mitz-a-plick.” Always have, always will. And? Mag-NEATo.
speaking of Magneato…that gets me thinking. Know where i first heard of/saw Magento? it was on/in the Paul McCartney & Wings double Live album called “Wings Across America” (1976). in a photo of the drummer, there is a HUGE (20-25’ tall?) banner of Magneto behind him (Kirby art). I remember thinking “WHAT is THAT
” (I was about 3yrs old). As you may know, Paul Wrote a song called Magneto & Titanium Man, which i find somewhat astounding to this day. is he a comic fan? (You may recall some DC books make it into the lad’s apartment in the film HELP!) anyway, song lyrics below. even the crimson dynamo gets a shout out!
Paul Mccartney – Magneto & Titanium Man Lyrics
Well I was talking last night
Magneto and titanium man . . .
We were talking about you, babe,
Oo—- they said—-
You were involved in a robbery
That was due to happen
At a quarter to three
In the main street.
I didn’t believe them
Magneto and titanium man . . .
But when the crimson dynamo
Finally assured me, well, I knew
You were involved in a robbery
That was due to happen
At a quarter to three
In the main street.
So we went out
Magneto and titanium man . . .
And the crimson dynamo
Came along for the ride
We went to town with the library
And we swung all over that
Long tall bank in the main street
Well there she were and to my despair
She’s a five-star criminal
Breaking the code
Magneto said now the time come
To gather our forces and run
Oh no . . . . . .
This can’t be so . . . . . .
And then it occurred to me!
You couldn’t be bad
Magneto was mad!
Titanium too!
And the crimson dynamo
Just couldn’t cut it no more
You were the law . . . . . .
That. Well. I did not know that existed. Delightful. I don’t buy the ideer of the Crimson Dynamo as the sad-sack outsider of that trio, though. Just saying.
Still reading the World’s Finest DC Archives Vol. 1. good lord. these guys are awfully fragile.
Superman: “Lois just spoke to batman…GREAT SCOTT!! she must love HIM now!”
Batman: “Robin seems to work well with Superman. I guess he won’t be my pal anymore now…”
the last one i read had the 2 being willing pawns for the Boss Tweed of Metropolis and the Boss Tweed of Gotham—both competing to get a Convention to come to their town. the convention planners get agreements from the various political bosses to put Batman and Robin Against Superman to see who wins the convention’s business.
I had no IDEA the chamber of commerce actually pulled the strings of each city’s fabled “lawmen”.
Yeah, classic superheroes always had reactions that never seemed to follow any emotional logic I could understand. Have you seen this impressive archive? http://www.nationallampoon.com/supermanisadick/default.asp
never seen that site. pretty good. you know, i usually associate outright lies with World’s Finest Comics, but you know, it seems that THAT was the hook for most any book Superman was in. just have him on the cover doing something that’d break a kids heart to see his hero do and BAM! you’ve got your sales!