PrettyFakes

Because, I’ve never been very good at coloring; I get too antsy and want to go draw something else. I barely got today’s cartoon done, because I was bored and drawing the same thing over and over and wanted to, you know, paste down a picture of K-Fed making out with Peter Gallagher. But that’s tomorrow’s cartoon.

This Polaroid is apparently my attempt to be a Catholic icon. Or, something. Perhaps a spokesperson for sunblock?

Pick up this week’s Jackson Free Press for a gorjus cartoon of somewhat recent vintage, which I thought looked absolutely rad shrunk down and in black & white. If’n I get off my rear it will be a regular feature, as they actually seem to like my cartoons, and demand some-sort of regularity. Bizarro-world, I tell you. Next week will feature Iron & Wine, who will be playing in Oxford on June 10th (damn you, collapsing Jaxxon music venues!!). And, if all goes according to plan, it will be the prettiest and greatest thing I have ever done.

Dear Carrie Underwood,

Um, hi. Congratulations are in order, I guess. I mean, you’re gonna be rich! Or, at least, famous. I mean, one hopes. I really just wanted to tell you that I was kind of drunk when I read about when you won (I didn’t watch—sorry, but all of the people I really thought were extra-gooby were gone; there was no A-Fed trach-scar bouncing, no Scott Savol F.A.S. paddle-flipping and tongue-lolling, nobody fluttering their hand on the mic off-beat to the music—oh, uh, nevermind), and I got something confused.

See, the headline was Underwood is America’s Idol and right underneath it was Garth Brooks Proposes to Yearwood Onstage, and like I said, I had a few glasses of vino in me, and I freaked out and was trying to call Sally to tell her that I hope she Tivo’d the show, because I couldn’t believe that Garth Brooks came out and proposed to you during the fucking show. I thought that maybe there was some sort of Checotah connection. Um. And then, I put on my glasses.

Still—you don’t have to marry him, which is great (because, have you seen him lately? Icko) and you’re the American Idol! Just like all the other famous ones!! I mean, just the other day, I heard that Ruben Studdard might have a new song one day! And that, uh, the other people might have songs on the radio, too! One day.

Um.

205,
Gorjus

So, I’ve got the new Spoon record, I’ve got that Comas record, and Jaxxie Glam and I got drunk as hell at Cazuela the other nite with Jaysus, the Electrics, Vendela, and Larry & Sally and then we went to Target and I some-how ended up with a string of Christmas lights, some dark-chocolate-covered pretzels, and the Kaiser Chiefs album (it was only $7.99! Go, major label hype!), but the only song I wanna hear these days is “Change Your Mind” by the Killers. Well, and “Shadows of the Night” by Pat Benatar, but that’s a whole different thing.

The Killers have been major-hyped, but I think they deserve a lot of the praise they’ve gotten. I had the record and I thought that “Change Your Mind” was eh, okay, especially in light of some of their more bombastic tunes, but then I saw a trailer for my favorite show, The Amazing Race, which featured the song in the background. And it just got me. It’s pop and sweet and yearning and you can sing along to it with the top down. Or, your top off. Your choice! This is, after all, a democracy.

And thank-God for that.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, May 31st, 2005 at 10:49 am and is filed under Gorjus, Poetry, Polaroids, TeeVee, The Rock and The Roll. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.