the amazing oculass!

faked by Wednesday, February 25th, 2004

go see the cartoon!


So yeah, I was drunk. Went with Jaxxie to Cherokee and there was a Blue Ribbon special (buck and a quarter!) and Some Girls was on the jukebox, turned up too loud, and we planned a goth birthday party for Jax, then we drove around Belhaven looking for houses, and so . . . this was a midnight special.

The other one, which I just couldn’t get done, was XJ-9 calling his attorney, Mr. Mooch, on the phone. Apparently everybody’s favorite indy-rock robot had libeled someone—in the rough beginnings of the strip, he had called the president a “cocksucker.”

So a FBI agent comes to talk to XJ-9. He calls up Mr. Mooch, who advises him (in monkey legalese) that he should retract that statement and clarify what he meant. So the last panel finds XJ-9 telling the FBI mean that he was “so very sorry about the statements I made.”

The FBI agents look smug, and then he finishes his “apology”: “I meant to say the president is a fucking cocksucker.”

I liked the idea—and the FBI guys going off their feet all Bugs Bunny-style in the panel, complete with poof! of smoke—but I was uncomfortable with the word “cocksucker.” Not sure why. Also, I wasn’t completely sure I wanted to do a political cartoon—even one that shallow.

Thus, drunk, and unable to think of any indy rock bands that really needed mocking, I give you Oculass. And then got confused halfway through and burned her house down.

13 Responses to “the amazing oculass!”

  1. Sally says:

    Haw haw! My cartoon self is HOT!

  2. average j. says:

    wow, fantastic likeness of sally! ...although her thigh looks a bit lumpy in the title panel.

  3. Sally says:

    Who are you, average j? And how do you know I don’t have a lumpy thigh in real life?

  4. gorjus says:

    I blame Carmine Infantino and his 1970’s Spider-Woman for all thigh-lumpiness. That, and Pabst Blue Ribbon. Good coloring job on that boot, eh?

  5. jp! says:

    oh MAN! this needs to become a regular character. (Plus Mr. Mooch enjoys the spotlight too!)

  6. larry ferrari says:

    You almost stayed in the lines, gorjus.

    I really like the idea that Sally sits in an Eames recliner at work.

  7. vendela says:

    rrroowza! sally is fine. jaxxie and i want our own big-boobied, fab-thighed femme comic book characters. i think mine should derive great strength from her pregnancy hormones, and jax should come with a sidekick: isabelle, the supernatural ponytail with whirling dervish-super spin and kick it out action powers!

  8. gorjus says:

    oh YEAH. oh yeah, that’s totally happening. you gain super-strength from baby caz!! and i think isabelle can expand and attack things. and then mr. mooch is your lawyer!

  9. Sally says:

    Um, about those boobs being “big”...note the size in the striped French girl t-shirt panel.

    I like that chair as well. My real chair has someone else’s cookie crumbs in every fold.

  10. gclark says:

    ol’ sally. back in school we used to call her “lumpy-legged sally” (legged has 2 syllables). not to her face, of course.

  11. average j. says:

    ha! sally, you know me! i’m mooch’s real-life doppleganger!

  12. jp! says:

    i thought that was ME!?

  13. jp! says:

    MAN, let me repeat how much i like this. i keep coming back like i’m gonna get to see more adventures with Oculass!! man, she puts those glasses on and her eyes get all those wobbly lines around em! super powers spilling out all over the damn floor!

    SON!! you know the Sally guise is MUCH like Hepburn in the movie DESKSET!

    question: is your art better sober?