twelfth-level mage, first-rate dork.

faked by Tuesday, October 28th, 2003

it’s no secret that i enjoy the whiskey of life with a splash of d & d on the side. i’ve never gone full-blown twelve-sided die, but appreciate a little computer-generated orc fight.

so after plowing through around eighty hours of the basically not-awful might and magic ix, which turned out to have a bug that would not let me finish the damn game, i had a big hole in my life.

i’ve been wanting to play the elder scrolls iii: morrowind for forever, but didn’t think my pc had the guts to handle it. and i was right.

but it’s so, so cool. so after turning the music off, shifting the resolution up to the point it looks like it’s on an apple iie, and fogging the backgrounds out, i could at least walk around a bit in the amazingly immersive world. i spent about two hours walking around collecting mushrooms, blissfully happy, like a phish fan on southfarm.

i finally decided to follow the main game a bit and took a ride on a silt strider. these are giant domesticated bugs that stand three stories tall; their shells have been hollowed out so folks can ride them like a big beetle bus. the grodiest part? they’re “steered” by “directly manipulating the exposed organs and tissues.” eeeeeeww.

i ended up in a dark elf town named something-or-nother. one thing i’ve never liked about the fantasy world: the class-a awful names. i tried to trade with a snobby elf, but he refused to barter with me—because i had a packet of moon sugar.

what the hell? i found it in a boat outside of seyda neen. you mean i’ve picked up some d & d crack rock? awesome.

so i tried to ditch it in a basket in the guy’s house, but wanted to grab it again on my way out, and he thought i was stealing from me and killed me.

ultimately, i can’t play the game as my pc now exists; i’m thinking about buying an x-box and getting the apparently-similar console version. just can’t handle the slowdown.

what i’m listening to:

joy division complete bbc recordings, which comes packaged with

new order complete bbc recordings for only $17.99 at best buy! things a nerd would love: hearing bernard sumner mumble out “this is a new one!” before the band launches into “bizarre love triangle.” goosebumps!

mates of state team boo irritating? yah, sometimes. awesome? listen to “ha ha” and you’ll fall in love. but ban the circus organ!

decibully “tables turn” as much as it sounds like it, i think this is a boy singing—and it reminds me of that great afghan whigs track from gentlemen, “my curse,” that marcy mays sings.

and too much elo, just like always.

2 Responses to “twelfth-level mage, first-rate dork.”

  1. Big Gray says:

    I am full-on in the throes of Final Fantasy Tactics Advance right now. I enjoy the customizability of all the characters. Right now, my main guy, Marche (I didn’t name him!), is a Fighter/Soldier/Thief/Paladin combo and my main Moogle, Montblanc, is a Thief/Black Mage/White Mage/Gunner. It’s awesome. It’s all I think about…

  2. james says:

    whatever you guys do, don’t ever start playing everquest…